Talk to me about absolutely anything. I will listen. I will respond.
I don’t know how to find my own place in this world when everyone has always, and continues, to refer to me as his sister. I’ve had so many people act downright rude to me until they hear I’m related to him, then they’re all over me. How am I supposed to feel good about myself, feel confident, or even know who I am when I’m always being recognized as Scott’s sister rather than just me— Gabrielle. People would always assume I could play piano brilliantly because he could, and were so disappointed when I wasn’t as good as him. They never looked at the small things I did that he didn’t. Like play guitar or write songs. I feel like his shadow has always overcast anything I’ve ever done or even tried.
Don’t get me wrong. I absolutely adore my brother. He’s my best friend and was all I had for a father figure growing up. He has taught me so much about life and being who I am no matter what anyone says. It’s not his intention at all to have this kind of affect on me. He just does his own thing and people love him. And I’m happy he’s surrounded with such love, especially after everything he’s been through over the year. He really is my hero and the strongest person I know, hands down. Which is why I feel like such an awful human being for even feeling this way, but I can’t help it. If someone refers to me as “Scott Jones’ little sister” one more time I may just fall into a million tiny pieces. It just feels like every time someone calls me that, they’re reminding me that I haven’t done anything worth being known for or proud of. It makes me look at how much I’ve fucked up my life and future and I’m only 20 years old.
I’ve met some people at least 3 times. They never remember or recognize me. They never take the time to really see or talk to me. But once his name is brought up they turn to mush and act like we’ve been friends for years.
I don’t know, maybe I just sound like a jealous piece of shit. I probably am.
Yes please 🌈🌈🌈😻😻😻👌👌👌
Don’t be sad about summer ending! Autumn is the BEST!